Category Archives: Sneak Peeks: It wasn’t supposed to end this way

Tornados

He is ready for our questions now. The first one comes from me. “Dr. Miller, if this chemotherapy doesn’t lower Bob’s white count, what’s next?” I want to be ready to research it on the Internet. The doctor listens to … Continue reading

Posted in Sneak Peeks: It wasn't supposed to end this way | Leave a comment

The Permission Speech

August 8, 2012 Mother looks so small lying in bed, even smaller in her wheel chair.  Today she ate.  Some days she sleeps all day now.  Other days her eyes may open, but she will steadfastly hold her lips tight … Continue reading

Posted in Sneak Peeks: It wasn't supposed to end this way | Tagged , | Comments Off on The Permission Speech

The Quiet Between The Walls

It is as if I can hear the house breathe.  Each breath in brings the sounds of life past: the soft clatter of dishes in the sink; the whisper of my mother’s voice; the clamor of my husband’s favorite newscasters.  … Continue reading

Posted in Sneak Peeks: It wasn't supposed to end this way | 7 Comments

Lessons from Death

Few can understand its wallop unless having taken Death’s punch.  I have lost two husbands, and I do not “heal” after losing a spouse.  But with time, I feel less sting at the sight of Bob’s old wallet, or a … Continue reading

Posted in Sneak Peeks: It wasn't supposed to end this way | 3 Comments

Come Back

There are days when I can feel his breath warming the back of my neck.  My body tingles with anticipation as I lean my head to the side exposing this delicate spot.  I stand still for that moment, and wait … Continue reading

More Galleries | 1 Comment

Twenty More Years

Nothing was as intense as the love that put fire in our intimacy – deep, rich and hot.  Now Bob watches TV, switches to the Internet, then goes to bed.  He does not even tell me goodnight.  Before, we had … Continue reading

Posted in Sneak Peeks: It wasn't supposed to end this way | 9 Comments

Chemo Moods

He is a pistol today. He sits in his easy chair, but his forehead is tense and his eyes could spit fire. It is chemo week, and his current chemo transforms Bob into a state of semi-controlled rage. “I’m hungry,” … Continue reading

Posted in Sneak Peeks: It wasn't supposed to end this way | 7 Comments

Astoundingly High

“Bob, you have an astoundingly high white blood count.”  As Dr. Abraham stands beside Bob’s bed in the emergency room, his words feel as if they will pierce the soft tissues of my heart.  They are short, pointed, but backed … Continue reading

Posted in Sneak Peeks: It wasn't supposed to end this way | 7 Comments

Voices

Voices.  I hear voices.  It is 3:00 in the morning, and I hear voices downstairs in the room directly below our bedroom.  My spine stiffens as I sit straight up in bed.  The down comforter, encased in a multi-toned blue … Continue reading

Posted in Sneak Peeks: It wasn't supposed to end this way | 17 Comments