There are days when I can feel his breath warming the back of my neck. My body tingles with anticipation as I lean my head to the side exposing this delicate spot. I stand still for that moment, and wait … Continue reading
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Category Archives: Sneak Peeks: It wasn’t supposed to end this way
Tornados
He is ready for our questions now. The first one comes from me. “Dr. Miller, if this chemotherapy doesn’t lower Bob’s white count, what’s next?” I want to be ready to research it on the Internet. The doctor listens to … Continue reading
The Permission Speech
August 8, 2012 Mother looks so small lying in bed, even smaller in her wheel chair. Today she ate. Some days she sleeps all day now. Other days her eyes may open, but she will steadfastly hold her lips tight … Continue reading
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Tagged It Wasn't Supposed to End This Way, Memoir
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The Quiet Between The Walls
It is as if I can hear the house breathe. Each breath in brings the sounds of life past: the soft clatter of dishes in the sink; the whisper of my mother’s voice; the clamor of my husband’s favorite newscasters. … Continue reading
Lessons from Death
Few can understand its wallop unless having taken Death’s punch. I have lost two husbands, and I do not “heal” after losing a spouse. But with time, I feel less sting at the sight of Bob’s old wallet, or a … Continue reading
Twenty More Years
Nothing was as intense as the love that put fire in our intimacy – deep, rich and hot. Now Bob watches TV, switches to the Internet, then goes to bed. He does not even tell me goodnight. Before, we had … Continue reading
Chemo Moods
He is a pistol today. He sits in his easy chair, but his forehead is tense and his eyes could spit fire. It is chemo week, and his current chemo transforms Bob into a state of semi-controlled rage. “I’m hungry,” … Continue reading
Astoundingly High
“Bob, you have an astoundingly high white blood count.” As Dr. Abraham stands beside Bob’s bed in the emergency room, his words feel as if they will pierce the soft tissues of my heart. They are short, pointed, but backed … Continue reading
Voices
Voices. I hear voices. It is 3:00 in the morning, and I hear voices downstairs in the room directly below our bedroom. My spine stiffens as I sit straight up in bed. The down comforter, encased in a multi-toned blue … Continue reading
